I was chatting with a friend the other day and she expressed reluctance to bother me or intrude in my life with a question. I replied that she could trust me to tell her if I was too busy to answer her at that moment. She said she felt relief in that expression of trust. Safe, clear boundaries do that! They help us feel safe and they help the people in our lives feel safe.
She went on to say that she knows co-workers that defer even if they don’t want to because they feel obligated. It’s uncomfortable for everyone. She wonders, “do you really have a moment for instruction or are you just saying so because I’m the lead and you feel you can’t say no?”
Energetically, unclear boundaries feel unsafe and therefore everyone feels on edge a bit.
So what are safe boundaries and how do I get there when I can’t say no?
I totally get this! I remember years ago I could NOT say the “no” word. Just couldn’t do it. I would do things I didn’t want to do or bail out at the last minute. I would have a neighbor take my car for the whole day when I only got the car one day a week to do errands. At great hassle to myself, I gave in – every time!
I knew I had to set a boundary but I just didn’t know how.
So, I did what I always do when I’m stuck. I prayed about it. Now, personally, I think prayer is magic because here’s what happened. That neighbor called again knowing that I had the car. I had a ton of errands to do and needed it for my own stuff. As the phone was ringing, I still didn’t have an answer and I was still praying!
I picked up the phone and heard her request. What came out of my mouth was nothing short of a miracle. I said, “I’m uncomfortable with that.” I didn’t know what else to say, so I kept silent. I knew that whatever excuse I came up with she would have a better reason. It felt like I”d dropped a bomb. After a really long moment the neighbor said, “Oh, ok. I’ll just get Sue to loan me her car. Thanks anyway.”
That statement “I’m uncomfortable with that” was TRUTH. Pure truth. No guilt, no shame, no blame, no excuse . . . just truth. That truth set me free! Holy Wow!!
That one experience gave me courage to speak my truth in other situations. The trick is finding the truth amidst the muck of obligation, fear of judgment or criticism, and the verbal/emotional manipulation from others. I didn’t want them to feel badly because that meant I would feel their pain as well as mine. (Untrained Empaths feel everything!) When I gave in, at least I only felt my own suffering.
It gets to a point when you just have had enough of that inflicted suffering and just want to be free of it. The truth does that. It frees you. It frees you from manipulation and it frees you from fear, obligation, and suffering needlessly.
But I don’t want others to not like me or be mad at me. They might not be mad at you. The might, but the pain of being mad at yourself is worse, isn’t it? It certainly gets to be after a while.
So, I wrote out some TRUTH statements and taped them next to my phone so I’d be ready. That really helped in the days when I was learning to speak my truth.
You see, we can comply – do what others want. Rebel – defy a request out of hand; don’t do what others want when you said you would, or wiggle out of an agreement. Or Walk a Sacred Path – doing what is in your heart to do. Guess which one grants you powerful energy to move forward? On a sacred path, we may choose to do something that someone asks of us – not out of obligation or fear but out of our free will and our loving heart. Or we will decline their request – not out of anger and frustration but out of our free will and our loving heart.
Whatever you are doing, notice if you have an energy of being pulled back, held up, or restricted . . . you are not walking in your truth on your sacred path. (To be clear, we all do things we don’t like to do. Cleaning toilets isn’t fun, yet that may be part of my sacred path.)
So, if someone is expecting me to do something, I get to choose which space I’m in. Comply? Rebel? Or Walk a Sacred Path. Finding my truth leads me directly onto my sacred path. Even though to someone else it might look like complying or rebelling. You heart knows the truth of it.
The truth is neutral. The truth does not carry a negative charge – even if it’s not what the other person wants to hear! If a person chooses to get upset, you get to stay neutral. How cool/powerful is that!?! Even an Empath can walk the Sacred Path of Truth without suffering.
Here are some Clear Boundary statements that speak the truth:
-I’m uncomfortable with that.
-I know I did that for you before, but not today. (Remember -don’t give them a REASON or an EXCUSE – they will pick it to pieces and overpower you. Just speak your truth and be silent!)
-Perhaps another time. I have other commitments for now. (If they push for a when, just repeat yourself . . . “I have other commitments for now.” If they push for what’s more important than them, just repeat yourself . . . “I have other commitments for now.”)
-Hmm. That sounds like a tough situation. If anyone can figure it out, you can. (Silence – let them figure it out! What a gift you are giving them!)
-I’m not sure how to respond to that. Let me get back to you. (give yourself time and space to think! You have a right to that!)
-I have to think about that.
-I don’t have an answer right now.
-If my help wasn’t an option, what else might you do?
You get the idea! Have fun with creating your own list based on your own circumstances.
Remember: Speak the TRUTH and then be SILENT. If you are asked a question like “Who do you think you are?” they are not seeking information, they are seeking to belittle you, steal your power, and get their own way. Don’t bite that hook! It’s manipulation and you are breaking free from that!
Keep finding new ways to say no without using the no word. It can be fun! This empowers you while helping others feel safe in your world. Your life is your world. Own it.
You may find your outside circumstances challenging. Those challenges are not here to punish you nor to harm you. Rather, those challenges are just life as it occurs around you.
Allow yourself to move effortlessly with these challenges. Like a dance of energy - a dance with energy. Push against the challenges and you'll go nowhere. Move with the challenges and you will swirl and float in ecstasy.
Your inner being hears this music. It longs to move and shift within its tones. Ask for guidance to know which way to move in this flow. You will be guided.
This is not to say you won't be inconvenienced . . . yet within any inconvenience you will find treasure by releasing the distress and moving with the flow. Even an inconvenience holds great treasure for you should you be willing to look!
You might find a new spiritual resource within you that you didn't realize had been gifted to you. You might find a strength or level of peace granted to you. You might even connect more deeply with your guides and angels, if you allow yourself that opportunity.
Feeling irritated by life's challenges? Ask to be shown the beauty (power/message/wisdom) of the moment. Allow yourself to receive this information. The irritation fades as the message appears.
Your awareness opens the door to this dance.
We dance with you.
So, Phil just installed a new keyboard for me – well for us. I primarily use this computer, so I’m claiming it. We’ve had this new keyboard for over a year. Actually, we’ve had two new ones just laying around. Phil’s work, hobbies, and ½ acre of property keep him really busy! This keyboard is wireless. I’m not sure I’m going to be putting it on my lap to type, but should I ever want to, I could do that!
Why didn’t I replace they keyboard myself? Good question. Actually, I was way-okay with the old one. My fingers knew just where to go. As a matter of fact, I had written two books (and a lot of re-writing – lol) and numerous classes using that keyboard. It was so well worn that the letters on the keys are no longer visible. Nothin’ but black. The numbers were still clear and a few letters like “Q” were still visible, but most of the rest of them were worn off. Which is no problem when you are typing along lickety-split and letting ideas flow onto the page. However, once a correction becomes necessary, you kinda need to see the letters!
So it is with life.
We get on auto pilot and we just let our lives flow as we go. Until we discover we need to make a correction. Perhaps we require more rest and auto pilot drives us to late nights. Without seeing what we are doing, change becomes impossible.
Seeing – rather perceiving – what we are doing leads us into awareness. That awareness is like my new keyboard. Bright and clear.
Certainly, my fingers aren’t flying over the keys as fast as they were on the old one. There is a slight difference in the placement of the keys. They are both ergonomic, yet this one has bends where the other had straights. This one has lows where the other one had highs. I’m having to do a lot of backspacing to have a correct text. It would have been hilarious for you to see the mess I started with! At the same time, I can already feel this keyboard is even better for my wrists and fingers. (I feel another book coming on!!! – actually two more.)
So even when our awareness leads us into change and it feels uncomfortable, we also experience the subtle shifts that allow us to be even better – feel even better – perform even better – live even better.
If you feel like a change is due, you might need a bit of help to get started. Find someone to assist, like Phil. Then allow yourself to get acquainted with the new process. Allow imperfection to happen as you step into a new pattern. In time, it will just be natural – like the old way was. Only now you’ll be more comfortable in your own skin – in your own life.
A small change makes a big difference.
Each day you begin again.
The air you breathe today has been a part of the Earth's system since the beginning. Rain, evaporation, plants growing - all these create renewal.
Breathe in a fresh breath of air.
Renew yourself as you breathe. Inhaling new opportunities and new insights and new life force energy. Exhale and release old toxic energy along with old toxic thoughts. Let your awareness ride the cycle of breathing. Notice where you are and why you are here.
With this noticing, ask for Divine assistance in clearing and releasing that which no longer serves. Just as you cannot choose to hold your breath for very long, your soul is programmed to release old toxic energy - if you allow it to do so. Merely allow this to happen. Just as an exhale is natural, so is this releasing process.
It takes effort to hold on to old hurts and old sorrows. Do you really wish to spend your limited energy on such things?
Hold on to something better. Hold on to your own value and your own worth - if even just your worth to us. We value you highly! You have a great purpose to fulfill and we honor you that you have come into this physical plane to do so.
Take courage in your breathing. Notice the peace that can attend in the next breath. In the following breath, call to you curiosity. In the next breath, call to you kindness. As you call in a quality, an old quality that no longer blesses you can be released and replaced.
We honor you in this.
Serenity powerfully supports your journey.
Serenity is not the absence of distressing feelings, but rather the peace that transcends them. This peace exists within the state of being of enlightenment, awareness and/or awakening.
The Earthly bounds of experience may lead you to believe that life is fearful, tragic and distressing. Though, certainly, things that generate fear can happen; Things that may be deemed as tragic may happen; and things that generate distress certainly happen.
And yet, your experience of these things can be balanced with your awareness and lead you into a peace beyond the human suffering of those without awareness.
This awareness we refer to moves you into a greater energy flow of abundance, harmony, joy, peace and liberty of life that the human mind in and of itself cannot perceive.
This perspective is a place of power. Unlike the human perspective of power, it is not based upon ego. Ego-power relies upon force . . force of will or force of strength or force of influence of disapproval.
Awakened power relies upon Divine Connection. This power empowers others while remaining untouched by outside circumstances.
When you find yourself bothered by external circumstances, restore your connection to The Divine through prayer, noticing the beauty of nature, the comfort of a pet. As you do so, the outside influences diminish in proportion. The more you connect, the less fearful, agitated or distressed you become. You will find action to take if it's needed and be guided to take the next step. If no action is required, you will be led into peace in the moment.
You will be free.
Those outside circumstances might still be there, or they might begin to subside . . . either way, you have a sense of power that is rightfully yours to own.
You thereby return to being the Master of your own Life and transcend suffering into serenity.
We walk with you into this serenity.
So, I was in the chiropractor’s office the other day. In walked a fella who announced that he expected to see both chiropractors immediately. He then sat down near me and started talking about something grim that happened years ago in our community. I just said I didn’t want to talk about that. He excused himself to the restroom. In those brief moments, I recognized I was dealing with an energy zombie.
I prayed for strength and safety while checking to see if I was grounded and spiritually connected. Both were good. Whew! (grounding = being aware of the Earth beneath my feet and the conduit of energy flow between me and the bedrock or the core of the Earth. Spiritual Connection = sensing the connection between me and Divine Source, having a sense of Angels or Spirit Guides nearby to assist.)
When he came back, he apologized for talking about that old incident, so I thought for a moment we could just chat about the weather or something neutral.
He started in on something else that was grim, negative and totally nothing either of us could do anything about. So, I just said, “Ya know, I’d rather talk about something positive.”
I could see his gears grind to a halt. It’s what I call an “ERK.” The pattern of thought gets disrupted and you can see a person pull back. Sometimes you can see them tilt their head or have a blank stare.
I told him what I thought positivity was and how powerful it can be to bring love and joy into a person’s life. ERK.
He brought up staying at a friend’s house while they were out of town. I said what a blessing that was for both him and the other person. “It was filthy!” he grumped.
Well, it went on from there. No matter what he said, I said something positive in return. At one point, he condemned his friend for not helping him financially. I said, “Hmm, you might be in judgment about that.” ERK.
He condemned this person and that organization – on and on.
They finally took him into another room.
The office staff asked how I was doing and I said I was fine. And I was!
Check in! Are you feeling fine? If not your energy slipped! Re-ground yourself. (Notice the bedrock or the core of the Earth beneath your feet and the energy flow.) Are you spiritually
connected? (Sense out for your Maker, Angels or Guides. Once you sense them, your spiritual connection reactivates.) See? Fun! Way-Cool!
I had picked up immediately on the situation and had armed myself with grounding (to allow the dark energy to flow away from me) and Spiritual connection (to allow clean energy to flow in to my whole being. I even sensed angels drawing near to me.)
Afterwards, I did a breathing technique that really helps to clear and heal this sort of distress. I based this technique on the Quantum Touch Healing technique. It’s a powerful healing methodology you might want to learn about.
Notice the Universe. Space. Notice its vastness. Notice that even though it’s spacious, it’s also full of planets and solar systems and constellations. Full yet spacious. Notice how it feels. Open. Powerful. Peaceful. Moving. Changing. Silent. I also recognize that God (Divine Source) created the Universe out of love and creativity. Not out of duty and obligation, but joy!
I breathe in this Universal Joy and sweep it up my body to about an arm’s length over my head. At this point I focus upon something I love, appreciate, or enjoy. Maybe you love a favorite pet or family member. Or you love a favorite book or vacation perhaps. Maybe you’d like to focus upon how wonderful it feels to get together with friends or how much you enjoy rock climbing (I accidentally typed rock clinging – that’s what I would do! lol) or gardening. Create an image of anything that brings you deep, pleasant feelings and place it over your head.
When the Universal Joy connects with that which we love, it allows us to hope for everyone on this planet to feel the same love and joy or positive feelings that we experience. We then allow this compassionate energy to release by exhaling this compassion to the whole planet by breathing through heart-space. (Okay, so air goes in and out of our lungs and nose, but energy flows wherever you desire it to go. The air will go out your nose, but the energy will flow out your heart-space.)
Breathe in Universal Joy and sweep it up your body to above your head. Allow that to connect with what you love, appreciate or enjoy and exhale compassion through your heart-space.
Breathe in Universal Joy. Pause while you connect with your own deep feelings. Exhale compassion through the heart-space.
Breathe in joy. Connect. Exhale compassion through the heart-space.
Universal Joy. Connect. Compassion for all.
Universal Joy. Connect. Compassion for all.
Do this for a few minutes and you will find yourself uplifted. You are untouchable here. Other’s neediness and distress cannot effect you in this state of being.
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about returning to this state of being when you choose to do so.
Your intuition can remain an active and vital part of your being without causing you distress. It’s really not your intuition that’s causing the distress, it’s our reaction to other’s distress that creates one’s own distress. This breathing technique built upon our intuition helps uplift us out of that sense of distress that isn’t ours anyway!
I’ve shared with you some new tools.
You’ll forget them. We all do. And yet, when you really need them, they will pop back into your memory. Perhaps the next time you feel drained you might sigh heavily. That sigh will remind you to breathe intentionally. You will remember there is a breathing technique to assist you and uplift you. You’ll then remember this process and will be able to help yourself instantly.
Many blessings with this. It’s saved my well-being on more than one occasion!
You are doing well in bringing your heart into balance. Your heart as in feelings in balance with your heart-of-hearts as in your purposefulness. (Personal will combined with Divine Connection) Each heart has it's value and together they bring you the fulfillment you desire.
Once these two aspects of your being are in harmony, then your efforts to reach for the Light and expand your awareness are greatly blessed. Your intuition will expand and guide you into the next right step for your journey.
This balancing technique seems odd at first, but with use, it becomes your regular state of being. You will live from your heart-of-hearts while your emotions alert you and inspire you. This grants the mind a task to perform which it will do with great ease and proficiency.
What WILL you choose for yourself? Do you choose to let your emotions run the show? This leads you away from fulfillment. Emotions alert you to things that feel unsafe or to things that bring you joy. Yet, sometimes trying new things feels unsafe and emotions hold you back from stepping forward. Notice the emotions and see what they try to tell you without falling prey to their demands. When the heart-of-hearts is online with your emotions, this will grant you courage, willingness and peace for the journey.
Your journey leads you into amazing things! We walk with you in this.
As you awaken to the unfolding of your journey today and each day, we encourage you to come from a place of center.
Each day you may have a list of things you wish to accomplish. This is good. And yet, the greatest accomplishments come from a point of center. Point of center is the place where mind and heart and spirit meet, join, and create.
You can decide to do a thing, yet without your heart being in it and your spirit willing, nothing will happen. So, too if you want something to happen yet don't have a plan, nothing happens then either.
How do you find this place of center? In one word, relax.
The state of relaxation or ease allows all of you to come on-line energetically and function together.
How do you find this sense of ease? In two words, let go.
Can you observe the sunset without having to make it different? That's letting go. Can you notice the breath in your lungs and not need to change it? That is being at ease. This at ease state of being is not being unconscious or oblivious! Rather it is an awakened state of awareness without pressure, expectation or urgency. Moving into this state of awareness with ease brings you into center and all aspects of your creative self come on-line.
It is from this place of center that we inspire you, guide you and cause things to happen in your benefit more easily.
Allow us to assist you!
You are more powerful than you know.
You perceive your power as the ability to influence others. We perceive power as the ability to influence yourself in a good way. This is the power of choice and the power of love combined.
You can choose to do good or to do ill. You can feel the need to make yourself heard. You can experience the need to be right. You may take action towards these goals. None of these are true power.
The power we consider as power is the ability to influence one's self beyond habituated patterns and beyond other's opinions. Choosing to take action out of love and compassion rather than self will and glory.
This is not to say that we expect you to give up all of your own goals and become self-sacrificing. Not at all! The motivation of love allows one to set the self-serving goals aside as needed. Being kind to one's self and nurturing one's self is necessary to move into a state of true power.
Yet, the power of which we speak allows others to be kind to themselves and nurturing of themselves without taking any offence or need to change them.
This power is limitless and enduring. This power comes from the place of choice instead of the place of reaction. This power comes from the place of wonderment ("I wonder what my next step might be") and allowing Divine Source to reveal that next step.
Within the place of power, there is tremendous peace. You do not feel peace? Then take a new look at your power and your power source.
Breathe in a new perspective as if you ALREADY were all powerful . . . then move forward with that feeling/awareness.
We have more to say on this, but for now, just allow yourself time to ponder and notice how you derive your power and how you utilize this power. There is much to be gained in this search.
We walk with you in this discovery.
The biggest reason people want to cut off their Intuition and Spiritual Awareness has to do with spiritual overload. We sense and feel everything around us. It feels like it’s just toooo much!
When I first awakened to my Intuitive self, I could hardly go in to a restaurant. I would pass the first table and feel everything each person at that table was feeling. I would feel their sadness, anger, joy, frustration, loneliness, grief, and worries to name a few. Then I would move past the second table while still feeling overwhelmed from the first table. God help me if we were seated in the back of a large restaurant!!
Once I even felt the wind blow through me on the way into the restaurant and felt a sharp wave of overwhelming feelings . . . nearly knocked me to my feet! I was so unsuspecting!
My husband, Phil, was understanding, but horrified and helpless as he watched me go from happy and joyful to heavy and overwhelmed. He strongly encouraged me to do something about that because it was breaking his heart.
So, over the years, I’ve found several solutions that really work. I’ll share some really powerful ones with you. I share them with you because living closed down is really not an option. All those walls and barriers we attempt to put up don’t really work. They just take whole lot of energy to sustain them. There are easier ways to be free of that energetic overwhelming experience while remaining intuitively and spiritually open.
Closing down or shutting down or removing the intuition is like removing your eyes. You need your eyes to see! You need your intuition to “see” your world energetically. Your intuition is your early warning system (you can sense something amiss before it appears) and your life support system (your life-force energy flows through the intuition).
Here is the first practice that I did when I was just newly awakened. It really helped tune me in and eased the trauma of being overwhelmed incredibly fast. Before you go into a restaurant or a place filled with people, ask Divine Source to “As a practice, please reveal to me a word or blessing for one person in this place.” Your guides/angels/Divine Source will then direct your attention to one person. All else will fade. All else will fade!!! You will not receive any other information!
You will be gifted a word a thought, an impression, or a kind blessing for that one person. You do not have any responsibility to give that word or blessing to the person! This is just your practice mode! Thank your guides/angels/Divine Source for this information and just be “at rest” where you are. Clutter starts to pour in? Immediately ask your guides/angels/Divine Source, “Please allow me to be at rest.” Then focus upon the menu or who you are with or if you are by yourself, bring a book. Do not allow yourself to be distracted from “at rest.”
You have choice and power over your intuition. It does not have power over you! Know this! Practice this! Take charge of this gift!
If you get into a car, you guide the car to where you are going . . . it is a mode of transportation only. It doesn’t take you where you don’t want to go.
Your intuition is a mode of awareness to get you where you really want to be – A Divinely connected blessing to this world. You are a better blessing when coming from a place of “at rest” than a place of overloaded. From that place of “at rest” you can receive more and
deeper information for one person. This is a huge practice that really helps you move beyond overload and into all the aspects of clear-seeing, clear-hearing, clear-communication, and clear-sensing.
Also, it’s coming to my attention that you may enter a restaurant, movie theatre or shopping center and “hear” whispering or conversations just out of ear-shot. You are hearing other people’s guides and angels as they are either communicating with one another or sending guidance to their person. This is really none of your business. However, this experience lets you know that you are tuning in to the frequency of guides and angels and can communicate with them . . . your guides and angels and other people’s guides and angels. How cool is that!?!
You can use the SAME practice of requesting a word or blessing to let the guides and angels know that you can hear them. Again, ask, “As a practice, please reveal to me a word or blessing for one person in this place.” They will either give you a word or blessing, or they may move out of ear-shot. Either way, you are not so overwhelmed with that energetic noise. Again, you are not responsible for giving the word or blessing to anyone! This is just practice so you can receive and then move into “at rest” mode. Like an engine on idle, it’s on, but not going anywhere. Your awareness is ready, willing, and able to get you where you want to go WHEN YOU DECIDE you want to take the journey.
Obviously, there are many other techniques that I could share with you, but this – by far – is the most valuable. This not only eases up the energetic/intuitive clutter that overwhelms, but it also prepares you for MORE! And if you are ready for MORE, I can help you with that, too. MORE to come on that!