I took a few minutes this morning to clear out my winter clothes and put them away. Gratefully! So glad the cold weather seems to be gone. I pulled out (unearthed) my summer things and, as always, found delight in forgotten garments. Pretty spring colors brought a smile to my heart. I’ll find a place to put them after the rest of the winter stuff gets stowed away. In the meantime, there are heaps of clothes here and there. As a Virgo, this is disconcerting to say the least. Yet, life goes on and my time dedicated to the garment shuffle was limited this morning.
I made coffee and homemade cookies and my brother stopped by. Nice! We sat outside in the lovely spring weather. We walked around the yard looking at all the irises in bloom. I noticed that there were a few mums that I had not broken off last year’s dead stalks. After my brother and his dog Simon, took their leave, I went out and started to break off the dead stuff.
I vigorously went to work braking and pulling dead stuff.
It didn’t take long before I realized I was pulling up the new sprouts with the old stuff. I had to slow down. I had to look before I yanked. I had to discern what was dead and what was alive. As I started getting rid of the dead stuff, the new growth and the new blooms just seemed to pop and look alive! They already were alive, but they were lost under the shroud of the dead stalks.
So, too, we have things die in our world. Old dreams. Old relationships. Old careers. Old perceptions.
So, too, it’s important to look before we discard the old. Is it totally dead? Is there new growth to nurture? Is it making everything else in our world look grim and dried up?
Instead of vigorously attacking what we are getting rid of perhaps a better approach would be rigorously. Using rigorous attention to the task at hand.
As I was breaking off the old mum stalks, weeds could be seen. I had to pull the new growth apart so I could get to the root of the weed and pull it out so it would not regrow. This rigorous attention allowed me to remove the week while leaving the flowers undisturbed.
Whether you are just cycling through seasonal changes or you are taking out aspects of your life that have died, take your time. Look at the good stuff first. What’s good and growing in your life right now. Identify and nurture those things. This will grant you energy and strength for the task ahead.
As you look at that which remains and must be removed, check to see if there lies any value left. Sometimes, in our moments of distress we tend to rip out the good stuff along with the unusable. We tear out the flower bed of our hearts and leave it bare – where weeds will soon take over.
Instead, apply that rigorous attention. Recognize the value that might remain and remove only that which is truly dead. Remove it gently. Remove it with honor. It served its purpose. It lasted as long as it could. It blessed in its own season.
Clearing our old heartache may seem a more difficult task. Yet, with honor, rigorous honesty, and gentleness, that which no longer serves can be pulled out of our awareness. Then the new, bright, joyous flowering moments of growth can flourish. It, too in its own season.
The past happened before now. The future is yet to happen. The "eternal now" is the experience of timelessness - the feeling you get when fully engaged in something and you "lost track of time" or "time seemed to stand still." These experiences allow you a moment's perception of eternity that is the essence of your soul/spirit.
What a delightful day it will be when you can fully experience this!
In the mean time, you are still anchored in time.
The key to moving through time is the constant process of letting go of what was and taking advantage of new opportunities as they arise.
Judgment may keep the past alive in the hear and now.
Fear may kill the future.
Walk in faith, Dear Ones. This grants you life and life abundantly
Each new day holds a new opportunity. We can choose how we respond to the day as it unfolds. Except for those pesky habituated patterns.
I grew up in a household that allowed angry outbursts as an appropriate response to anything challenging. A misplaced item was met with an angry outburst. A chore left undone was met with a negative response. So, that’s what I thought life aught to look like. Whatever happens needs to be addressed with anger.
Well, you can imagine how well that worked for me.
One day (many years ago) I found myself getting ready to go out for the day. It can be kind of zen to curl one’s hair. Mine was long at the time, so it took quite a bit of time. As I was standing there allowing the heat of the curling iron to do its work, I found myself contemplating my reactions and how unfruitful and unpleasant they were. I pondered if there was a better way to be/live.
At that exact moment someone came in (not Phil) and exclaimed their displeasure at something happening in the world . . . that same angry outburst I was familiar with though it was about something that had nothing to do with me.
In that moment I had the choice to react as I always had, or to find a new way to react. Well, I didn’t have any other way to react in my toolbox as yet, so I just continued to do my hair while I mentally searched for a response.
Interesting thing happened. The other person stopped yelling and just walked away. Aha! Doing my own thing was a response and it gave me what I wanted – peace within myself. I didn’t have to correct the other person or address their anger. I could just allow them to be where they were and not get sucked into it.
That was a profound moment for me!
As I finished getting ready, I wondered how I could apply this to other situations. Like situations where I was being dressed down for something I had done or not done. Well, doing my own thing was not a solution when directly verbally addressed because that gave the other person ammunition to accuse me of ignoring them or being passive-aggressive.
So, what could I do! I loved that sense of inner calm and peace! I wanted more of that!
I discovered that truth is an open door to neutrality. Not beating someone up with my truth, but rather just calmly expressing where I was at. In that way, truth is neutral. Neither hurting the other person, nor diminishing me.
When hit with, “You didn’t do that right!” I could respond gently with my truth. “Hmmm. I thought that was how it was done.”
“You didn’t do that right!” It is soooooo easy to respond to anger with anger. “Well, who are you to tell me how to do that?!” Yet, because anger begets anger, when anger is applied, more anger happens. Vicious cycle emerges leading to frustration, tears, or worse.
Once I made the commitment to find my truth and speak it gently, the real work began. Once I got triggered, I could NOT THINK!! My mind went blank! They only thing I could think was the habituated negative responses!
So, I began to pack a few neutral truth responses into my conscious brain when I was in a state of calmness. Then when the negative attack happened (as was the habituated pattern with this person) I could call upon my list of neutral statements to disarm myself and reclaim my brain out of the abyss of habit.
“Well, I’m not sure how to respond to that.” (truth!)
“I don’t know what to say, here.” (truth!)
“Hmm. I’m going to think about what you are saying here.” (truth!)
“I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a minute.” (This one works great!!!)
“I don’t think I see this the same way you do.” (truth!)
No accusations. No defensive/hostile comments. No judgments on the other person. Just neutral truth.
Did that heal that relationship? No. Sadly. Yet, it brought me into a clearer state of mind to a place where I could see my truth and begin to walk in it. I could disengage from the habituated anger cycle that was so familiar.
Do I ever get angry? Yes. Yet, I can speak my truth much more easily. (Sometimes it’s still hard! Especially if the other person is angry and I feel myself get triggered.) Now, I can feel my brain shutting down and I know the importance of getting space between me and the situation.
Truth is an open door to emotional freedom. Truth is the gateway to clarity. Truth is the passageway into honor and self-respect. Truth is the portal to awareness. Truth is the access point to dignity.
May truth lead you into peace.
Wind. Cold spring wind. Rain here and there, but mostly wind.
We live on a half an acre and this time of year begs for lots of clean up this time of year. Yet, that wind. That cold spring wind.
Phil can often brave the chill temperatures and get early weeding done. Yet, wind. Cold spring wind prevails. Even Phil has not been able to endure much of that wind.
Yet, we anticipate days turning warm and the wind giving way to easy breezes. We look forward to those days as we stand inside the house and look out the sliding glass door.
So, too, sometimes life brings us trials and struggles that seem to persist long beyond the time we feel we can endure. Those difficulties hang on while our endurance slips and we feel restless, helpless, and spent.
How do we hold on? How do we endure?
We remember the good days that we’ve had and we hold on to the hope of more good days.
Hope is the life-blood of joy. Without hope we lose sight of goals and dreams. Without hope we lose the strength to go on. Yet, hope is more than a memory. Memories feed hope for sure, yet there is more to hope.
Hope shines as a bright spark of possibilities. Hope simmers as a warm stew filled with nourishing meat and veggies. Not quite ready to eat, yet savory smells wafting through the house promising warmth, nourishment, and fulfillment.
What fills your hope stew? Goals and dreams? Friends and family? Activities and experiences? Creativity and productivity? Don’t know? (You might want to try a little of each of these to see what you prefer!) When we go through changes, we lose sight of our goals and dreams because things look differently - feel differently. We don’t know what we want anymore. When we go through changes, we shut down and lock out family and friends because we don’t know how to relate anymore. When we go through changes we stop trying new things because the old stuff no longer fits and the new stuff feels . . . well, odd. When we go through changes our creativity and productivity plummets because we feel useless and blah.
Hope cures this! Hope transcends our transiting feelings and stabilizes us into a new pattern. Even though the pattern may not yet be firmly established, Hope allows us to endure change.
Finding Hope may feel like a chore. With change, everything shifts and new capacity for Hope emerges. A new depth of Hope arises. Look deeper! The Hope you need exists deeper than any other Hope previously experienced.
Even as the cold spring wind blows outside and the warmth within tides us over until better days, so, too Hope warms our spirit and sustains us.
Go deeply within to find this new level of Hope. For within the depth of being, Divine Source resides, connects and nourishes. To assist this process, read spiritually uplifting articles, books or listen to positive meditations. Feed the part of you that nourishes Hope so that Hope can and will sustain you.
The cold spring wind stopped for a bit today. It was lovely. The warmth of the sun touched my face and the spring flowers brightened my soul. The wind picked back up again, yet I’m hopeful for a warm day to put my hands in the Earth and assist the flowers in their journey to full expression.
Hope sustains me even in the face of the cold spring wind. Hope uplifts me and brightens me into Joy. I smile as I watch the bright red, yellow, and pink tulips dancing in the wind. I am safe from the wind within the warmth of my home and the brightness of Hope.
May you find the Hope you need to endure any time of cold wind that might blow your way.
You have been given a sacred choice. You can view your life as tragic and difficult, or you can view your live as blessed and sacred. The same circumstances may exist in both perceptions yet when you choose to view the sacredness of life, it becomes beautiful.
This beauty may not be without difficulty, yet even in difficulty there can be beautiful moments. How can one see the beautiful moment when life's difficulties loom?
Employ your inner child-like wonder. You may not remember the first time you saw a bug. Yet, in that moment, there was no judgment of whether it was good or bad, right or wrong, it was just a new thing to be discovered. Later, you learned that bugs could bite or they felt creepy on your skin. Later you learned that your parents didn't want bugs on you.
Before those judgments, you merely had fascination and curiosity. You wondered what it was and what it could do. You wondered if it wondered who you were.
This process of wonderment allowed your open curiosity room to explore. Employ this same curiosity now. Allow yourself to explore your options for growth . . . for experiencing.
This allows space between you and the circumstances. This provides breathing room between you and fear and struggle. It is within this breathing room that new insights happen. It is within this breathing room that Divine Source can speak to your heart. It is within this breathing room that your can speak to Divine Source. It is within this breathing room that you can breathe. It is within the breath that you can regain your composure, your focus, your bright spirit of hope and joy - your sacred self.
We long to see you regain your sacred self. We await your return.
Whether family by birth or family by choice, those closest relationships challenge us the most! They challenge us to speak our truth and they challenge us to listen.
Yet, the biggest challenge arises in listening to one’s own heart. The clutter of expectations and drama, might cloud the inner dialogue. Especially during times of stress.
How can we make everyone happy?
How can we make everyone understand us?
Rifts and barriers exist where we wish there were none. Yet, truth is, those rifts and barriers exist. Not because we aren’t good people, but because we are unique, different, and have our own opinions and preferences. We can only allow others to be where they are. And when they cannot allow us to be ourselves because of their judgments, we also get to be with that as well.
Yet, we desire for everyone to be happy and we want everyone to understand…
We may not be able to attain those desires.
I should be able to make it okay. I should be able to sit down, shut up and let others abuse me for the sake of family harmony.
There is no easy answer as each moment, each situation holds its own experience. Perhaps one moment we can be quiet and hold sacred ground for peace. The next moment we cannot allow compliance to overshadow the peace of our own truth that must be spoken.
We can only do our best to be our best self. If triggered by another’s judgment or opinion of us, we might lose our sacred ground and become reactive. Family has the unique ability to find our “Hot Buttons” and push them quite effectively! It takes time to disengage those “Hot Buttons” so they become non-reactive. How do we do that? We move into our sacred truth. Our sacred truth has no energetic charge. Sacred Truth has no need to react or change another person, their thoughts or their perceptions. Sacred Truth just IS.
Ask yourself, what is my truth? If family (or dear friends as close as family) judge or dismiss something you feel is important or significant, what is your truth? Not, “They shouldn’t judge me.” Or “My point of view is right and theirs is wrong.” But rather, what is your Sacred Truth. Perhaps family/friends are dismissing your desire to go back to school – projecting onto you
what they think you should do. . . your Sacred Truth might be . . . “Going to school feels right for me.”
Period. End of story. They get to have their opinion. You COULD be making a big mistake . . . or you COULD be doing exactly what is perfect for your next step. Time will tell. In the meantime, you are making a choice and taking action in your own best interest. Notice how the truth statement, “Going to school feels right for me,” holds no energetic charge. No need to do battle. No need to defend. Sacred Truth. Find your Sacred Truth in whatever situation and you will find strength and power.
Even so, if we do slip and become reactive, we can only do our best to apologize and make amends.
It’s time to find balance between the love of our family and the love of our own truth. When the path is unclear, we can only hope to listen to our heart of hearts rather than our triggered feelings.
May Love and Truth guide you into the richest blessings of kindness and a sense of belonging.
Being in the moment is actually impossible as the moment passes as quickly as it arrives. The phrase "being in the moment" might better be stated as "being in the flow."
Flowing with each moment allows you the perspective of the past and the desires to be manifested. Feeling stuck may feel as if time stands still or your life stands still. However, this is not so. Your perspective of opportunities is stuck. As you seek for a new perspective, new opportunities arise. With new perspectives and new opportunities, you move gently into the flow that is already happening.
When you consider "being in the flow" consider the flow not to be time as much as the flow is light moving through space. . . Light unbounded by distance or resistance. Light flows even through what you might consider obstacles or blocks. Nothing blocks Divine Light. Not even darkness or shadows of doubt.
Bring your awareness into the space of darkness and Light immediately fills this space. Moving through, in, under, and around bathing all in Light.
YOU carry this Light within you. Notice this Light flowing within you. Allow this Light to bring new hopes and dreams to you when old ones fade. Allow this Light to flow with you into the next moment, the next step, the next goal, the next dream, the next lifetime.
I've been through the depths of despair and I've risen to joyfully doing what I love with my whole heart. The journey hasn't always been easy. Yet, the journey has been, without a doubt, blessed, joy-filled and amazing.
In this video, I will share with you my journey - but mostly the tools that got me through the rough spots.
Talking about someone taking one's own life is a challenging subject at best. There are so many sides to the story. So much pain. Pain for the one considering it. Pain for the loved ones left with heartache and an unquenchable grief.
Suicide is the 2nd highest cause of death for young people ages 10 - 24. Yet, suicide holds an incredible message - if you can discover it. This message brings you through the pain and into a bright joyful life.
You may feel that you are in the depths of despair or drifting in and out of a despairing state of being. Get ready to see a way out. . . a lasting way out.
Maybe you feel like your life doesn't matter. Find a new perspective and re-discover your sense of worth.
Perhaps you wish you could just end it. Been there . . . nearly did that. Learn how to put an end to that pain - forever.
Maybe you've lost a loved one to suicide. Acquire a new level of understanding a learn to live beyond the tragedy. A new level of peace awaits you.
I've experienced the treasure you seek. I know how to get there from here. And, I have a map for you to follow. The silly pirate's treasure map graphic isn't to make light of such a serious subject, but rather to acknowledge that the journey is tricky! not straight line of thinking will get you where you want to go. An adventure awaits! And in the journey, you'll find a lasting treasure.
Get ready to have your mind blown and your perceptions rocked.
May this bless you richly.
Prior to my spiritual awakening, I was busy, busy, busy. Never really felt much of anything, just hurried and harried through stress-filled days. Once I began to take stock of my life, began to cherish each moment, and find a deeper more meaningful connection with Spirit I began to feel overloaded. I would walk into a restaurant and as I passed each table or booth I would feel what each and every person was feeling. Angry, sad, hungry, full, lonely, frustrated, aching back, sore shoulder, headache, and on and on. Dizzying to say the least!
I came to realize that I was an empath. An empath takes on or feels the hurts and suffering of another. We are really good at taking the pain on, but did you know we are meant to release it? Without knowing how to release that energetic information we can carry it for days, weeks, months or even years.
Empaths often cannot watch movies or TV shows or read books that portray betrayal, or criticism, or man's inhumanity to man. We just take it all in – we're just like an energetic paper towel - the quicker picker up-er! The paper towel sucks up the water because the dry part draws the wet into itself. It is its destiny. It is the destiny of an empath is to draw negative or painful energy in order to create balance. We desire the sad to be happy or at least neutral. We desire the negativity to be clear. We desire the suffering to be soothed. We draw anything out of balance into ourselves!
An empath is ENERGETICALLY PROGRAMMED to take pain and suffering from others. It’s what we do. We can try to shield, but the shields take more energy than they are worth because they never work effectively or sufficiently for an empath.
"But why me, God?! I don't want to be this way! I have other things that I want to do with my life. I want to let other people have their own stuff. Why do I take it on? Why?" Because you can. Not everyone can. You can - you do. Just like you can have blue eyes or curly hair or a green thumb or an ear for music. Trying to stop being an empath only confounds the issue. Being the best of who and what we are will allow us to move through the energetic process more easily.
This doesn't mean that you have to spend every waking minute processing the suffering of others. It does mean that you get to learn to identify and discharge energy more effectively.
"Can a person who is not an empath become one?" Perhaps. I believe with intent we can become more compassionate and caring – traits of an empath. However, if you are not an empath, there are easier way to do healings than taking pain physically into your being. So if you are NOT an empath, be thankful and find other ways to be of service.
Being an empath is not the easiest way to go, though it can be the most profound way of healing. For, by really feeling what another person feels or what another person is experiencing that allows us to be more compassionate and emotionally involved with the healing process.
First step for an empath is to identify the pain. Is this pain mine or someone else’s pain? If I didn’t have a headache two minutes ago and now I do, I may have picked up a headache from someone nearby. If my left knee started hurting, I might ask the person next to me if their knee is hurting. (Sometimes we get mirror images, so left or right may not be important.)
The person that is hurting may not intentionally be sending pain to an empath. Remember, we are programmed to pick it up. If that other person acknowledges the headache or knee pain, the connection is made and the healing can begin. Once the person with the pain acknowledges the pain, they give themselves permission to let go of the suffering. As they allow you to suffer with them and for them. This opens a connection, a doorway to surrender and release. The letting go process creates a pathway to healing.
"So, how do we release this energetic information (pain) once I pick it up?" It is important to note that many empaths have a great deal of difficulty releasing this acquired pain. Here’s why. An empath wants the energy to be neutral. Just discharging pain won’t work for an empath. The inner being will just not release dark, negative, painful energy out into the world. Cannot do it!
An empath requires transformation of the energy before it can be released. It is vital for an empath to learn a technique to transform the energy from pain (or any kind of suffering) into neutral or positive energy. Once transformed, the energy can easily be released.
Here is one technique:
*Transmute Color & Clear
The compassionate heart of the empath will slurp up any negative, hurtful, or harmful energy into the body. The empathy is programmed to do so. The key is to release it, let it go.
Notice pain or negative energy and see where it is located in your body. See if it came from anyone near you or in your awareness. (Pain may travel long distances as energy is not restricted by time or space.)
See this pain or negative energy as a color. If the energy seems dark or gray or smoky or shadowy or dim, transform the energy into a brighter, clearer color.
Muddy tan transmutes to bright yellow easily. Grey or smoky color can more easily transform into green. Black or sickly green shifts into purple effortlessly. Trust what color you sense is best for you or for this situation.
Transmute the energy by imagining it changing or by asking for assistance from Divine Source, your guides and angels. An empath will gladly release a happy yellow rather than a muddy tan. The happy yellow is light and moves easily in response to the will – your intent. The muddy, or cloudy color feels sticky and resistant because an empath does not want to dispense anything that is not a clear energy.
Once you visualize the clearer color, breathe it out on a strong exhale or sweep it off of yourself. Easy!
Envision any energy that you may have picked up along the way.
See where it might be residing in your physical form.
See what color it is.
Visualize this energy as a different color or ask Spirit, the angels or your guides to change its color into something lighter and brighter or higher vibration.
Once the color has brightened, brush it out of your body or breathe it out of your energy field, or sweep it away from you, or ground it out into the Earth.
It’s just energy and cannot stick to anyone in its transmuted form. The energy can then be usable energy. It can assist plants in growing and children in playing and be useful in any number of ways. It’s a blessing to release it. Try it!
*Another powerful tool for release - "Lay it at Jesus Feet"
Whether on a conscious level or not, some empaths feel that God / Spirit / Source / The Universe doesn't deserve that pain so unknowingly attempt to protect Spirit from that pain and continue to hang on to the energetic block. It's what we do - absorb pain! The Christian faith can be really helpful in this instance. The Christian belief system holds that Jesus suffered and died once for all beings and in those moments of suffering he carried the suffering of everyone for all time. Hence the thought-form, "By his stripes (suffering) we are healed." This allows the empath the opportunity to take any and all pain and suffering to lay it at Jesus' feet.
Here’s the process:
In the imagination, view and transmute the energy as described above.
Allow yourself to see the risen Christ. See the kindness in his eyes. Feel the compassion.
Lay this energy at his feet with a deep exhale. Know that you are doing the right thing. This is His destiny. This is what He came to do. He is the Ultimate Empath.
Express gratitude and return to your day-to-day activities with a clear sense of being.
Final Note: Here is a big "Ooooops up side the head" - another person's suffering may be because Spirit feels it is time for YOU to be healed. Your paths have crossed at just this right time so YOU can be free of some pain. What a blessing! We deal with our own betrayal when we can take on and release someone else's betrayal. One’s own chronic headaches can be relieved by clearing someone else’s headache. Give a healing - get a healing.
There is sooooooo much more I could share on this subject, yet I feel this is enough (maybe more than enough) to digest at this point in time. It is my sincere hope that this information helps your journey as an empath.